A few months ago, I was really struggling to figure out my daily routine for prayer.
It had been going great.
For nearly a year, I woke up and got out the door at 6:30 a.m. to make morning Mass on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I’d take my prayer book and journal with me for fifteen minutes of mental prayer after Mass and still make it to work by 8 a.m. Perfect.
But then I got pregnant. (A HUGE answer to prayer, but that’s a whole different story!)
Suddenly, I didn’t have the energy to eat breakfast, get dressed, and get out the door before dawn. In fact, I could barely move before 10 a.m. That early morning routine simply was not possible. And on the rare occasion I did make it out, I was so tired from the effort that I could barely pay attention.
A few months later, still struggling to pray, even at home, I brought it to confession. There I met with the sound advice of a compassionate young priest.
“Don’t forget that the purpose of prayer is to connect with God. Your life is going to change—has already begun to change—dramatically. The way you connect with God is going to change, too. The important thing is not whether you keep to the routine that worked in the past, the important thing is that you keep trying to connect with God every day, even if how that happens looks different now.”
Even though I still deeply desire the quiet, contemplative setting of that early-morning Mass, I realize the priest’s words were wise and true.
Some habits need to be subject to change (even really good ones). Why? Because if we hold them too tightly, we can forget that they are only means to an end.
The purpose of prayer habits and other spiritual practices is to connect us with God. If we’re doing them out of compulsion, out of an empty routine, because we think that’s what’s expected of us, or “what good Catholics do,” then we’re not doing them for the right reason.
Instead, we need to explore with God what will best help us connect with him, maybe trying something new, maybe letting something go, maybe doubling down with new enthusiasm and intentionality.
The purpose of prayer (and any discipleship practice) is to connect us with God and enable us to love like Jesus. If we keep this goal in our sights and never give up, we’ll be on the right path.
